Have you grown lately?

This is me. Well, it was over a year and a half ago when I was studying at university. 

It's weird looking back and seeing how much has changed since I was a poor, uni student who featured on the Wollongong University website (is that nerdy?) and still is - I don't think they've realised that I've left. 

Check it out: http://www.uow.edu.au/arts/ssmac/index.html

Looking back, I realise how much I've changed. I'm a different person. I even look different! But most importantly I've realised how much I've grown. I've grown in confidence, in maturity, in relationships and in God.

As life ticks on we shouldn't stay in the same place. God hasn't intended for us to be the same person at 15 and at 20. We are meant to grow.

Growth doesn't always just happen though. It's something that you have to work at. And sometimes growth is hard.

Sometimes we have to really look at our flaws and how they are affecting us from moving on to better things in life. It's important to to recognise the fears we have, the anger issues we have, the control issues we have and so on.

Why? If we don't identify these flaws and try to change them, we can end up missing out on all the good things God has in store for us - the relationships, the career path and the joy of life. 

Sometimes we can be left behind because we are too afraid or to cocky to see that we must change in order for our circumstances to change.

But the best thing is, we don't have to do it on our own. God is our never-ending help in times of need.

So, have you grown lately?

Five weddings in three months

If you haven't guessed already from my blog title, my husband and I have been to five weddings over the past three months. It's a lot. And a lot of fun.

Now that it's over I've had a moment to pause and reflect. I suddenly realised that everyone's grown up. It took some time but it finally happened.

Things are changing and they have been for a while. And I find myself asking, how did I get here?

How do you deal with change? Is it something you run away from or do confront it?

Change can be scary. I'm at that point again in my life where relationships are changing. Everyone's grown up. They're getting married. Some are moving overseas and others having kids.

A New Breeze

Do you feel a wind of change coming your way? Or are you totally unaware that it's coming?

Nothing ever stays the same. Nothing ever will. But I know one thing that is constant. And that's God.

So whether you're changing your friend group at school, moving to another city or starting University, God will always be with you. Wherever you go and whatever you do he will be your constant.

Remember, it is highly likely that you will be attacked with fears of the future so stand strong and hold onto Jesus. Even if your life turns upside God will be there. He will always be your constant friend.

Before the wind comes I encourage you to take a moment to pause, reflect and soak up the moment. Then brace yourself for the incoming breeze.

Everyone needs a little ...

What sorts of music do you listen to when you are feeling down?

When I was a lot younger, I would often to resort to listening to this band called Evanescence when I felt depressed. Their music contains a lot of negative lyrics and focuses a lot on pain. While there is nothing really wrong with this kind of music, it didn't really help me in my emotional state. Often, it made me feel worse.

Sometimes we need to be careful what we feed into our spirit, particularly when we are not feeling emotionally well. Music can influence the way we react to a situation and can often lead us to responding to a situation in the wrong way.

Now, I often find myself singing Kari Jobe's song, Everybody needs a little when I am feeling down or lonely. I like this song because it gives me hope. It helps lift my spirit. It gives me joy. It reminds me of Jesus and the power he has to overcome any situation. Here are the lyrics:

Come and find peace

Everyone needs a little rest

Everyone needs a little joy

And a song to sing in the darkest night

And life even when it gets you down

Hope will turn it all around

But love is the greatest of these

Everyone needs a little

I encourage you to find a song or album that has a positive message and listen to it when you are feeling down. It doesn't have to be Christian either! Make the conscious decision to lift yourself out of the depths of despair when you are feeling down.

Who holds the key to your door?

Who holds the key to your door?

Sometimes it's easy to lock the door to your heart and throw away the key when someone hurts you.

But have you ever locked the door to your heart away from Jesus?

Sometime it's easy to want to control everything. School, Uni, work, friends, family life but it never seems to work out just the way you want it to.

And sometimes we don't even know that we're doing it.

It's so easy to just get really busy with controlling everything that we forget to talk to God about it. We forget to share our feelings with him. We forget to ask for his help.

Soon enough the wall will break down. Everything we have built will crumble because we don't have strong foundations in Jesus. We have foundations that are made by us. And they are not very strong.

We need to open in every area of our lives to him. We need to unlock the door and be set free of our own fears.

When I watch The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe and watch Lucy open that door, I think of Jesus. I feel she is unlocking a world that is free of fear, control, worry and concern.

Don't worry if you have lost the key to the door to your own heart. God will help you find it.

Never Grow Up

Innocence. Some call it naivety. I call it purity.

Let me explain. Firstly, read these lyrics below by Taylor Swift.

Oh darling, don't you ever grow up
Don't you ever grow up, just stay this little
Oh darling, don't you ever grow up
Don't you ever grow up, it could stay this simple
No one's ever burned you, nothing's ever left you scarred
And even though you want to, just try to never grow up

This song epitomises the beauty of purity. No one has burned you, hurt you, rejected you. You don't have any physical, mental or emotional scars to show.

I am glad I have grown up because there is a lot of joy in life. But sometimes I wish I could go back to that point when I had no scars and no rejection. Because this pain is something that you are always fighting against for the rest of your life.

Without the restoration, the renewal, the love and the forgiveness of Jesus I no longer have to be bound by these scars. I can be free.

I like the sound of this song because I want to live in a world without pain. When was the last time you were set free of these bondages?

Film Review: Conviction

This is a powerful story. And it's a true story.

Hilary Swank stars as Betty Anne Waters who goes to Law School to free her brother, Kenny Waters, played by Sam Rockwell from a crime he did not commit.

The film flashes between past and present moments of their lives telling their moving story. Sometimes when you watch films that contain flashbacks, it's really noticable. In this film, the flashbacks are succint and smooth - you don't even realise they're happening until they are upon you.

This film moved me to tears as the story follows two siblings who grew up in abusive household. To escape from the horror, they broke into people's houses so they could pretend to have a normal life - to pretend that their Mother wasn't a prostitute.

Eventually their Mother was seen to be too unfit to take care of them and both Betty and Kenny were taken to separate foster homes.

When I look at his life, I think no wonder he ended up there. It's amazing how our family upbringing can change the course of our lives. His parents were troubled and so was he. But did he deserve 18 years in jail?

This film was a powerful experience for me. I really felt the weight of their experience on my shoulders while watching the film.

The thing I realised the most is that young people can grow up in horrible, abusive and restricting homes. We need to be mindful of those who don't have a happy home life. We need to strech out a hand to help those who don't have a caring, loving and joyous home life.

Do you know someone in this situation?

Fairytale Dreams

Did you know Sleeping Beauty's castle was inspired by this castle? 

It's called Neuschwanstein Castle and it was built by a crazy man known as King Ludwig II. Yes he was known to be a bit mad but also mad awesome for building a fairytale castle!

Many people have told me that fairytales don't come true - that guys don't bring you flowers just because or they don't surprise on a romantic date.

They're wrong. My husband does these things for me all the time. Now, I'm a hopeless romantic and I feel so fortunate to have ended up with another hopeless romantic.

But you deserve this too. You deserve to be treated like royalty. Why? Because your worthy enough to be loved.

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails."
-1 Corinthians 13:4-9

I feel all these things with my partner. Have you ever felt this way with someone before? 

Make your mark

Today is International Women's Day. So I think it is appropriate to honour this inspiring woman from history.

"Everyone has inside of him a piece of good news. 

The good news is that you don't know how great you can be! 

How much you can love! What you can accomplish! 
And what your potential is!"

-Anne Frank

When Anne Frank turned 13-years-old in 1942, her parents gave her a diary. It was this diary that gave her a voice to the world for years to come.

A few short weeks later, their family received a notice from the Nazi SS to report for work at a labour camp. On July 5, 1942 Anne and her family moved into hiding at the "Secret Annex" adjacent to her Father's former office - a place he had preparing for quite some time.

When Anne went into hiding from the Nazis, the diary came with her. She called it Kitty and for the two years she spent in hiding she wrote her thoughts, feelings and inspiration while living in troubling circumstances.

For two years Anne wrote while hiding in the attic above the store, but it ended on August 4, 1944 when their hiding place was made known to the Nazis. When they were arrested the Nazis searched their belongings to find valuables and scattered Anne's diary pages across the floor. However, two women knew about her diary and picked them up for safe-keeping.

Anne and her Mother ended up in the Bergen-Beisen camp in Germany. As starvation and disease swept through the camp, Anne's Mother developed typhus and died. A few days later in April, 1945 Anne passed away a few weeks before the camp was liberated by the British. She was just 15-years-old.

While Anne lever lived to be 16, her diary has lived on as a memory for those who suffered under the hands of the Nazis during World War Two.

Anne made her mark by inspiring generations of people with her faith and hope during terrifying circumstances.

How will you make your mark as a woman?

Life is Beautiful

"Life is an opportunity, benefit from it.
Life is beauty, admire it.
Life is a dream, realize it.
Life is a challenge, meet it.
Life is a duty, complete it.
Life is a game, play it.
Life is a promise, fulfill it.
Life is sorrow, overcome it.
Life is a song, sing it.
Life is a struggle, accept it.
Life is a tragedy, confront it.
Life is an adventure, dare it.
Life is luck, make it.
Life is too precious, do not destroy it.
Life is life, fight for it."
— Mother Teresa

Trend Watch: Which shoe are you?

Which shoe are you? Wedge, ballet flats, slingback, stilettos, sandals, thongs, ankle-strap? And the list goes on.

If I was to describe what shoe I am, it would definitely be white ballet flats with flowers on top. Oh wait, I pretty much described my wedding shoes. Well, almost.

Now don't get me wrong. I love heels. I particularly love the feeling they give me when I walk into a room - they give me confidence, plus I feel tall. The only reason I prefer not to wear them is because they give me back pain - sad face.

Shoes can say so much about who you are. When I showed my wedding shoes to a select few people before my wedding, they all said, "Oh they're so you".

And it's true. I love bows and flowers. I recently bought a pink skirt from Forever New with a massive bow on the front. And then I matched it with a pink flower in my hair.

When I got back from London, I received so many comments about the two pairs of shoes I bought at Top Shop (cute London store by the way). The first pair were a beige colour with flowers on them and the other pair are black, strappy flat shoes with a line of pearls running down the middle.

When I wear these shoes I get so many compliments, even from people who would never wear them because it's not their style.

That's the thing. When you define your style, there is a confidence that just pours out of you. I always feel so much more confident in situations where I am comfortable in the way I dress. I like pretty, girly things so that's what I wear.

So next time you put on a pair of shoes, ask yourself, what do my shoes say about me?

When people disappoint ...

Have you ever been let down by someone before? Has a friend made fun of you at school? Have your parents told you they would come to your ballet concert but didn't? Has your boyfriend flirted with someone else right in front of you?

I know I have. Time after time I have been let down by friends. Like the girl in the picture above, when someone disappoints me I go and hide from the world.  When I'm upset, I bury my face because I'm ashamed to show my pain.

I've been in situations where I've been humiliated publicly and I tried to hide my face, but couldn't because people were staring.

Sometimes it seems easier to hide your pain than confront - sometimes it hurts too much to confront it. I have found that sitting in your own pain actually makes it worse. It makes you hate yourself more and it makes you hate the world more - it convinces you to never trust people again.

When someone breaks your trust, it's not easy to give it back and sometimes you shouldn't because they are the type of person to abuse it again. But if you sit in your world of pain, you will never move on and you will never trust people again.

The key is to forgive. Forgiveness works two-fold: to be free you must forgive not only that person who hurt you, but you must also forgive yourself. In other words, don't judge yourself in the way someone already judged you.

Romans 8:1 says, "Therefore, now there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus."

Do not condemn [judge, criticise, ridicule] yourself as others have condemned you. For Jesus sees you in perfect light, without imperfections and flaws. He will never let you down. He will never disappoint.

The Best View in the World

From the the top of my hotel balcony, I sat and watched, while eating my french breakfast (cheese and pastries, yum!) the beautiful view before me - the Eiffel Tower.

It was our honeymoon and my husband had surprised me by booking the "honeymoon suite" on the top floor of our hotel with our own private balcony and view of the Eiffel Tower. It was truly the best view in the world.

Saying goodbye to our Paris balcony was difficult because it was so hard to tear myself away from such a breathtaking view and knowing that I would go home to a view of a sporting field didn't make it any easier.

I guess I always wanted my life to be this exciting. Climb the Eiffel Tower, spend a day in Paris Disneyland and then shop at the most famous and exclusive shopping mall in the world - the Champs Eylsees.

There are times in life when you have the most amazing experience in the world and you don't won't to go home because you are leaving that view behind - nothing else seems as exciting anymore.

When I came home from my honeymoon, I expected to feel this way for quite a while. I did for a little bit but one day I woke up to a new view - God's view for my life. Suddenly the time I spent climbing the Eiffel Tower didn't seem as important as the view God was showing me for my life.

While the road may be tough along the way, I can't ever imagine wanting to take myself away from the view because I know there will be so much joy that comes with it.

Have you seen your view yet?

Capture the Moment

By Jo - our lovely wedding photographer

This is a photo that was "captured in the moment". Our wedding day had been perfect so far until we got to Dawes Point Park in the Rocks, Sydney - it was windy. Really, really windy.

Now, if you've ever tried to wear a tulle, princess dress, you would know, every step is a challenge! Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed the challenge because it was my dream dress and I was determined to wear it on my dream wedding day.

So there we were, blowing in the wind and I was at breaking point as I tried to climb the hill underneath the Harbour Bridge in my impossible walking dress in high-speed winds.

Yes, it wasn't my favourite moment of the day, but it was my favourite "captured moment" of the day.

When I first saw that picture, I was speechless and everyone who has seen my wedding album always stops and pauses for a while when they look at this image.

When was the last time you paused, just for moment? When was the last time you let life just walk right past you because you were too busy to stop, pause and reflect in the moment?

One of my favourite Scripture passages is this: "Be still and know that I am God", Psalm 46:10.

My desire is too not let my life pass by without pausing to find it. It's in these moments that we discover who we are called to be.

Esther xoxo

embrace - what it's all about

I am determined to live my life to the full – to be who I am called to be and to live for Jesus. I believe I have been called to share my heart, thoughts and passion for life with young women. This blog is space to be inspired by God’s thoughts and to explore who you are. It’s a place for you to figure out who you want to be. And of course, there will lots of fun, cute, pretty and quirky things along the way to inspire you to find your identity in Christ.

Welcome to embrace!

Love Esther